Memories (n Confessions) o a Skweel–loon

Weel, weel an, n foo’s aa mi freens e day?

A wis sittin in e Sitootery here at Mossies the ither day here, fair peched oot A wis becis A hid jist feenished cuttin aa mi girss, n ye ken, its richt queer fit wye things, oot o the blue ye micht say, jist cam intil yer myn!? Weel aat’s fit happened es day becis oot o nae wye A suddenly stairted thinkin aboot bein at e skweel at Pitmedden awa back a lang time ago. In fac, it wid hiv bin roon aboot 1945 up until aboot 1950/51, n at aat time of coorse, Pitmedden wis baith a Primary and a Secondary skweel.

Noo w eesed tae waak tae the skweel – traffic jist aboot didna exist – ye cud waak up e middle o e road frae Tollies tae the skweel n nae see a car. There wis three o’s aat A myn aboot fa aye waakit igither, Henry Pirie, Jimmy Nicol n m’sel – Jimmy’s sadly nae langer wi us bit Henry n m’sel are aye gyaun strong – weel, wir aye gyaun at least!! If e teacher’s bus frae Aiberdeen gid by us (at 9.25am) w hid five meenits tae get til e skweel n line up in oor classes in e playgrun.

There wis five teachers aat A aye myn maist aboot in connection wi Pitmedden – Mrs Ingram, Mrs Laing, Mr Simpson, Mr Massie n of coorse Mr Scott the Dominee.

Mrs Ingram wis e maist winnerfu Primary 1 & 2 teacher aat ye cud get, motherly bit strict in her ane wey. Freday afterneens wis aye lookit forrit til wi great pleesure – fin it wis time tae gang hame Mrs Ingram wid stan aside e open door haudin a big sweetie jar, it wis ful o “smush” – loose, crushed up, broken bits o sweeties – n as ilka pupil left she wid stap a hanfu o this smush intil ilka open moo as it gid by!

A’m sheer aa oor modern-day health n hygiene craiturs maun be teerin their hair oot – bit as w aa ken – it didna dae us ony hairm ava!

Efter leavin Mrs Ingram’s room we wid hae progressed til Mrs Laing’s room. Noo es cam as a bit o a shock tae maist if nae the hale lot o’s – Mrs Laing’s discipline wis gey different – she wid raise her vyce at us and she hid a strap asweel! Nae maitter w aa survived n gid on up til Primary 6 & 7. Noo, as far as A can myn ower aat twa classes wi hid twa different teachers – A think w hid a Mr Massie tae stairt wi then a Mr Simpson teuk his place. A div ken aat they waur baith twa richt gweed teachers n it wis Mr Simpson fa opened my een tae fou important n interaistin n fou muckle ye cud learn frae studyin maps. It wis at es time asweel, due til a shortage o space at e skweel proper, the classes o Primary Sax n Seiven got their lessons in ane o the aal huts in e former P.O.W. Camp alang, n at the ither side o the Aldmeldrum road.

Bilin het in het days, freezin caul in caul days, n waater dreepit in throu e reef on weet days! Nae maitter w aa survived! Weel noo it wis in es surroundins aat I committed the maist disgraceful crime imaginable!? Lat m try tae set e scene, as A’ve said Mr Massie or Mr Simpson hid bin oor teacher bit on ae haaf-day ilka wik Dominee Scott wid tak e twa classes and test oor arithmetical skills, oor ability ti dae sums baith on paper n mentally asweel. So es day as my class, Pr.7, wis set ti solve written problems the ither class, Pr.6, wis taen til e front o e room far they steed in a haaf circle ti dae mental arithmetic wi Mr Scott sittin in a position far he cud see baith classes. On es particular day wi e Dominee so ensconced yours truly in Pr.7 hid feenished e written problems posed b the said gentleman. Wi naethin else tae dae I thocht I wid test mi skill at target practice b projectin wee bitties o mi rubber by firin them wi mi ruler at various members o Pr.6 as they steed in front o Mr Scott. Of coorse as mi missiles hit their targets the reaction o aat said target wis tae jump, fair trickit A wis at mi success A released anither missile! Sadly this ane missed its intended goal n it hit, ay yer richt, the Dominee!?

A jaloused richt awa aat A wis in a fair bit o tribble – its amazin fou quick an eleiven ‘eer aal loon can wirk aat oot! Noo than, fit followed is brunt on mi myn – efter a severe verbal owergaan bi Mr Scott he then sent e culprit, me, tae waak back til e skweel proper, ging tae his room, knock on e door n speir for Mr Scott’s belt. This wis handed til ye n ye hid tae waak back alang e Aldmeldrum road cairryin e said item, back ti yer classroom in e P.O.W. camp, far Mr Scott duly administered sax o e best – three on ilka han! This wis in fac e very first time aat I hid iver got e tag at Pitmedden skweel ! Hooiver, a lot waur wis ti happen fin a got hame aat efterneen?

It wis amazin in those days e speed aat news n gossip cud travel frae Pitmedden doon ti Tollies!?

Fin A got hame A wis met at e back door o e Shop b mi Faither fa speired at mi fou hid skweel gane e day n I hid said aat it wis fine! So for tellin a lee n for misbehavin at e skweel A ended up wi a skelpit doup n sent stracht ti mi bed wi nae maet!

A niver did iver fun oot fa it wis aat telt mi Faither tho?