Takin throu han By Bill Johnston

Weel, weel an, n foo’s aa mi freens e day?

Michty isn’t e grun fair dryin up noo, ay, its beginnin tae leuk as tho A’ll hae tae get yokit oot in e gairdin again - n ye ken fit aat means!? E first day A’ll ging at it at sic a rate ye winna see mi for stue n steens – spaad n graip gyaun like e clappers, n e barra niver oot o tap gear! Bit then cams e followin day – oh me – ivery jint n ivery muscle is sair!

First, gettin oot ower e bed, aa roon yer middle is sair n tryin tae sit up tae throw yer legs oot ower jist aboot rives ye in haaf. Then efter tyauvin tae get on yer claes ye sit doon tae sup yer parritch, michty eyven liftin mi parritch speen up tae mi moo is agony! Weel, weel, as e Wife says “ye niver learn, div ye?”

Es hinmaist day ar sae A’ve spint a fair bittie o time wirkin on mi car. A’ve kyn o made up mi min’ aat e winter wither’s aa by wi noo, so there shuidna be ony mair saat pit doon. Saat dis mak an afa sotter o yer car, oh A div sweelt aff fin A can bit ye canna get ony polishin deen in freesty, caul wither.

Ah weel an, a guid “Wash n Wax” mixter intil a bucket o loo waarm waater n mi carrie wis gaen a guid waash doon. Then e power hose wis yokit n it wis gaen a richt hose doon nae forgettin inbelow e wheel hoosens asweel of coorse. As lang’s A hid e hose oot A teuk oot e rubber mats n gid them a waash an a hose doon ana. Then as aathin wis dryin A lookit oot mi aal hoover n gid e carpets etc a guid hooverin. The polishin cloots wis lookit oot n efter a wee fylie baith e inside n e ootside wis shinin n sparkling like a new pin. Ye ken, b the eyn o e second day A thocht aat A hid a new car in mi garage!

Noo maist o mi Readers are probably weel awaar o e fact aat A’ve niver bin in favour o Mr Trump n his glaikit plans for Menie. Richt fae e ootset fin Trump first ‘trumpeted’ his plans twa three ‘eer back A warned e Cooncils tae hae naethin tae dae wi him. He aye reminds me o a big bairn fa likes tae get his ain wye – n sulks fin he disna!

Weel A jist hope aat e cooncils n wir Scottish Government dinna gie intil him ower the proposed offshore wind fairm! Fit richt his he tae cam here n dictate fit he likes n disna like – awa back tae America Mr Trump n bide there!

There’s nae doot aat Spring is in e air, its richt fine tae stan ootside wir hoosie here at Mossies n listen til aa e birdies singin their herties oot. There’s a Blaikie aat aye seems tae start aff e singin jist as daylicht is brakin n nae afa far ahint is a Robin Reidbreest, his sang at es time o ‘eer is a richt delight tae hear. Then for aboot e first twa three ‘oors o daylicht the Moss is fair ful o birdsang – ye ken, it maks me jist fair trickit tae be alive - aye, Mither Naitur is a winnerfu craitur!