Takin throu han By Bill Johnston

Weel, weel an, n foo’s aa mi freens e day?

If A myn richt A think it wis Benjamin Franklin, he wis an American statesman fa lived awa back in e seiventeen hunners, it wis him aat said “Death n Taxes wis the only twa certain things in life”. Ay, he wis certainly richt aboot aat, n es Tory/Lib.Dem Government is fair makin sure aat they can get e maist oot o us peensioners afore wir days on earth here cam til an eyn.

Fin A hearkened tae fit Maister Osborne hid tae say in his Budget the ither wik here, ye ken, jist for a meenit, A fair thocht aat it wis a comedy programme aat A hid wrangly switched on bit then, sadly, A verra quickly jaloused aat it wisna! There wis nae doot aboot fit he said – e rich waur gyaun tae get richer n e peer gyaun tae get a lot peerer!

Ye ken, like lots o fouk o my generation, fin A wis wirkin A wis aye telt tae pit sumthin by for mi retirement, save for a rainy day! Weel A did dae aat, nae a lot maybe b modern day standards, bit a bittie, n e interest aff o’t wis sipposed tae supplement mi pension! A gran theory maybe bit fit happens fin e interest rate is aas sma aat ye need a magnifyin gless tae see fit it is?

Of coorse aa yon self-cintered gowks, so caaed financial expeerts fa caased maist o es cwintry’s money problems, they’ve aye managed tae wangle themsels fine big bonuses ivery ‘eer so they winna hae tae live jist on e State Pension. Na, they made sure aat they lined their pooches n their pensions as weel!

Oh A ken they’ve made great play o e fac aat wir pensions hiv aa gane up es month - bit sae his aathin else, ay, jist fit hisna gaen up!?

Asweel as aathin aye gyaun up A noo see aat some o wir politeeshuns are needin tae stop e free bus travel for peensioners! Appearandly their argument is aat it shuid be stoppit becis anafa lot o peensioners cwid weel afford tae pey the ful fare onywey! An interaistin argument which A’m sure we wid aa support if aat same politeeshuns wid aa gie up their travel expinses aat they aye claim verra diligently ivery ‘eer.

A think wir Chancellor o the Exchequer, Maister Osborne shuid think a bittie mair aboot fit he’s daein, if he cairries on as he’s daein he’ll bi leukin for anither job verra soon!

A wis hopin aat A wid b tellin ye aa aat A hid plunted some o mi tatties bit e wither his gaen aa tae pot es past day ar so n mi wee veggie gairdin his got maist afa weet n clorty again, it sticks til yer beets like glue! Hooiver ae jobbie aat A managed tae dae wis tae cut mi girss a twa three days ago n michty whit a difference it’s made, it certainly maks e place leuk a lot tidier.

Bit A wis jist thinking aat wi e price o petrol aye gyaun up n up A seen winna bi able tae afford tae rin mi petrol mower. A sippose A cwid get a twa three sheep ar goats tae keep e girss doon – A believe there’s a flock doon aboot Westminster aat’ll seen be on e market!?

Tae eyn on a cheerier note – A saa mi first Swalla near e Toll o’ Birness on Friday 13th as A wis drivin up til Mintlaw – then on Setterday e 21st wir first ane arrived back here at Mossies - ye ken, jist maybe, simmer is jist roon e corner!