Takin throu han By Bill Johnston

Weel, weel an, n foo’s aa mi freens e day?

As ye aa ken A’ve said es mony, mony times in e past – oor wither aye gies us aa sumthin tae spik aboot, n nane mair so than jist noo! A dinna think A’ve iver heard sae mony fouk spik aboot e wither aat wiv hid tae pit up wi ower es hinmaist month ar so. Nae maitter far ye gang be it e shop for yer paper, e gairage for petrol, JRD’S for fitiver, fin ye meet in wi a face ye ken ye dinna speir foo are they daein bit mair likely “ weel, are ye managin tae keep yer heid abeen e waater?”

Whit a plowter aathin is, e grun is fair sodden n e craps aa sair needin some sinshine n heat, n if it disna cam seen wir cwintry wull be in a gey sorra state.

Noo as A screeve es fyow wirds A see aat St. Swithins Day is nae lang by n b jings A dinna need tae check mi diary tae ken aat it hid bin rainin aat day, ay, some richt hivvy shooers w hid!

Weel than, A’m sheer ye aa ken fit e wee verse says aboot it –

‘St. Swithin’s day if thou dost rain

For forty days it will remain

St. Swithin’s day if thou be fair

For forty days ‘twill rain nae mair.’

Noo forty days taks us richt throu til aboot e 24th o’ Aagist! Hooiver bein a bit o an optimist A’m sheer things’ll aa get better afore lang n w’ll aa winner fit w hid bin complainin aboot!

Wi aa es coorse wither, n nae bein able tae get on wi mi outside wirk, e Wife disna like tae see mi sittin aboot daein naethin, so she says tae mi the ither day here “Ye ken, there’s a damp spot on e wa inabelow e back bedroom winda, cwid ye nae dae sumthin aboot it”?

Weel noo, as aa mairrit lads wull ken, fin e Wife, she fa’s bidden ye maun aye tak tent o’, says sicca thing in sicca menner, ye dinna waste time, ye get on wi’it!!!

So efter leukin oot a gran array o tools – saas, hemmers, chisels n so on, which A laid oot on e back bedroom fleer – A hunkered doon n studied e bittie o wa aat wis at faut. For e life o mi A cwidna see fit wis wrang wi e wa, of coorse fin A conveyed es til e Wife, tae say e least, it didna gang doon afa weel!!! She mairched throu n pinted tul a wee spot – “Are ye blin?” she speirs, “aat bit is soakin weet”!

Us aul mairrit billies ken faan tae mak a strategic retreat, so A says “Michty lassie, yer richt, bit A’ll hae tae gyang tae JRD’s n get a plaistic air vent, aat shuid cure e problem”.

Weel noo, aat jobbie wis duly daen, A eyven managed tae fit e vent reasonably stracht asweel, bit she’s noo spikkin aboot redecoratin es back bedroom!?

Guid sakes A hope e rain stops seen so aat A can get yokit ootside insteed!